Cat Definitions

(Found this online)

• Aquarium: interactive television for cats.

• Cat: 1. a lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.
  2. a four footed allergen.
  3. a small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.
  4. a small, furry lap fungus.
  5. a treat-seeking missile.
  6. a wildlife control expert.
  7. one who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes.
  8. a hair relocation expert.
  9. an unprogrammable animal.

• Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.

• Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.

• Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.

• Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.

• Door: something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.

• Energy: the element of vitality cats always have an oversupply of until you try to play with them.

• Human: an automatic door opener for cats.

• Impurrsonate: to act like the cat.

• Kitten: a small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.

• Purrade: an organized march of cats.

• Purradise: the garden of Cats.

• Purramour: a cat lover.

• Purranoia: the fear that your cat is up to something.

• Purraphernalia: a cat's personal belongings.

• Purrch: any favored feline napping spot.

• Purrchase: anything bought for a cat.

• Purrfume: the scent of an open can of tuna.

• Purrmission: a feline hunting expedition.

• Purrpetual: everlasting feline love.

• Purrplex: a house with two or more cats.

• Purrsuit: the garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.

• Purrverse: a poem about a wicked kitty.

• Tuner: sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.

• Yawn: a cat's honest opinion openly expressed.